Productivity has become the raison d'etre of Western capitalist societies, supported by its fundamental principles, quantity and impact. Both of these principles have taken hold in universities, and both place "useful" applications of knowledge above exploration of the human condition, above doubting, questioning, and wondering. The predominance of this ethic has forced humanities faculties into the awkward position of either repackaging their offerings so as to support the productive ethic or insisting on their integrity and facing charges of irrelevance. Though the strategy suggests choice, both options lead to the same end: the elimination of genuine humanities education. No wonder humanities professors are unhappy. If we are going to learn once again what a genuine and robust education in the humanities is about, we're going to have to explore that strange thing on which humanities education ultimately rests--our humanity. (Contains 5 endnotes.)