Of the many, many articles written on Harvard University's endowment woes, the author has yet to read one actually sympathetic with Harvard. Perhaps this reflects one's gleeful voyeurism when the high-and-mighty fall, or sense of justice that the reckless should pay for their recklessness, or belief that no university truly needs or deserves such a large nest egg, or perhaps the reality that, even after this precipitous fall, Harvard still retains the largest endowment in the solar system. But the impact on the Harvard operating budget and its people is substantial. Harvard's loss, after all, exceeded the total endowment of all but a half-dozen American institutions, and recovery could take a generation or more to reach its previous peak. In this article, the author proposes a solution for Harvard University to quickly restore the endowment. Harvard can re-establish its total principal in just two years: simply by "selling" seats to prospective freshmen. After two years of prostituting its admissions process, Harvard University could return to its more meritorious ways (though a suspicious public might then doubt if this practice had actually ceased)--now far wiser in Harvard's actual influence on students, and the strength or fragility of its reputation.