This two-year self-study explores my experiences as a new teacher educator learning to teach in an introductory foundations course. I was interested in better understanding how and what I can learn from the complexity of my early teaching. As my Freirian orientation to transformational learning was challenged, two key themes emerged: developing voice, and the tension between accountability and authenticity. I learned about recognizing the implications of modeling practice for students and of speaking up and out (or not), as well as coming to terms with the self-reproof associated with the incongruence between my intentions and my actions.