There is some empirical support for the person-centred hypothesis that self-esteem is positively associated with having a facilitative relationship. Rational emotive behaviour theory suggests such an association is more likely to occur in people holding the irrational belief that they must be approved by others while person-centred theory may presume that a less facilitative relationship leads to a demand for approval. The aim of this study was to examine these ideas in romantic relationships using a cross-sectional design. Jones' Demand for Approval Scale specified for a romantic partner, Rosenberg's Self-Esteem Scale and a shortened modified Barrett-Lennard's Relationship Inventory were completed by 89 female and 62 male undergraduates. Facilitativeness was not related to demand for approval. Although the rational emotive behaviour hypothesis was not confirmed, demand for approval was more strongly related to self-esteem than facilitativeness. This finding suggests that self-esteem may be increased more if this irrational belief can be successfully challenged than if a more facilitative relationship is provided. The causal nature of these associations need to be investigated. (Contains 2 tables.)