Beneath discussions about race and ethnic relations is an unease, "a whispering in our hearts" these debates that need to be understood "otherwise". In more recent times, they seem increasingly complex and dangerous as the essential differences that underpin modern notions of identity appear negotiated, contingent, and disjunctive. In this paper, I examine the ways in which teachers and parents in one Melbourne secondary school spoke about these notions in 1988 and 1998. Taking up suggestions in the postcolonial and race literatures, the article argues that the normalised notions which make up these conversations need to be made explicit, and the near silences that negotiate the parameters of these discussions should also be the focus of analysis. While at one level teachers and parents discussed their unease and their excitement about the ways their school had changed, their conversations remained underpinned by taken-for-granted understandings about the ways people belong differently within the school community. (Contains 8 notes and 1 table.)