This article uses data collected from a class of eight to nine year olds to show the specific ways children are defining their gendered positions within the context of their same sex friendship groups. Children's subjectivities are described as both actively formed and also positioned within the surrounding (gendered) discourses. This article will show specific ways that structure and agency is played out through talk amongst friends. Importantly, analysis of the talk indicates that children are able to both align themselves as well as challenge dominant gendered discourses. The article argues that informal talk amongst friends is an important space for children to make sense of masculinities and femininities and to develop their identities, particularly in the context of school.