More young children and their families have access to early years services than ever before in Britain. Within these settings practitioners and parents need to work closely together for the benefit of the child. Yet the relationships within the childcare and education triangle (child, parent, practitioner) are highly complex and sometimes fraught with tension. Drawing on theories of care, the paper offers a structure for decisions about childcare and how a combination of expectations from parents and practitioners regarding everyday care practice can either be the basis of a trusting relationship between the adults involved in this caring triangle or a breeding-ground for tensions. The study is mainly based on qualitative research from a study combining qualitative and quantitative methods with family day care providers in the north-east of England and the north-east of Germany. (Contains 1 figure and 1 note.)