In this article, the author contends that creeping corporate influence on the university has given rise to calls for better "branding" of institutions, but "corporate university speak" is not the rhetoric needed to protect educational institutions' core values. The modern corporate university is a "non-profit" institution that embodies at least one of four alarming features: (1) The reduction of faculty to a "labor force," students to "clients" or "customers," knowledge to a "product," and education to an "industry"; (2) The constriction of the governance role of the faculty "labor force" to matters of the curriculum; (3) A respect for corporate values and corporate associations; or (4) An interest in profit-making opportunities. The author argues that educational institutions exist in order to apply and extend to their communities the values of teaching, learning, and the creative yet rigorous search for truth. This is the "brand" they should assert, one that will serve the best interests now and in whatever era follows that of global corporatization. (Contains 13 resources.)