How do we communicate our work to our students and our friends who don't speak in the same academic tongues as we do? Using critical personal narrative, and a nice homely metaphor, rather than poststructuralese, I explain what happens to a body in education, and how power works to produce it, say, as white, imperial, middle class and heterosexual. Alternating temporal frames, I tell the counter history of doing my (body's) counterhistory. I encourage you, my reader to settle in, get comfortable, make a cup of tea, and as we counter-read/write, I hope we will come to understand my/our (counter) stories.