This article investigates the forming of student teacher identities in initial teacher education. By analysing student narratives of school experiences the article argues that although reflective, reflexive and critical discourses are helpful interrogatory tools, they presuppose a prior subjectivity which fails to acknowledge the idea that it is through such discursive practices that subjectivity emerges. Such discourses also suggest an emancipatory project grounded in rationality. The article demonstrates that these reflective discourses fail to take into account non-symbolizable and non-rational aspects of experiencing that have powerful ontological effects on subjectivity and identity. Such aspects are structured in student narratives through fantasy, which allows students to understand their experiences as consistent and meaningful.