This article is a deep dive into the realms of self-exploration and self-reflection, emanating from the perspective of a Black Latin American male doctoral student based in the global north. Building upon the works of Sofia Villenas and Nina Asher, it revaluates the author's academic journey and teaching practice, highlighting his dichotomous experiences in the system of global domination. The study investigates the arguably, contradictory colonising practices that the author has inadvertently engaged in, presenting them through the lens of his unique ethnic-racial background. By exploring Fanon and Grande's theoretical contributions, the paper contributes to the understanding of complicity in perpetuating systems of domination. Crucially, it emphasises self-recognition and self-reflection as vital pedagogical tools for educators and researchers, offering avenues for deconstructing prevailing power dynamics. This article is an honest, self-reflexive and critical effort that places the author's experiences and situatedness in conversation with decolonial work and literature.