Purpose: The authors of this paper are both white English education scholars with antiracist agendas. This conceptual manuscript aims -- in part -- to better understand the backlash both of them have faced in trying to contribute to antiracist teaching and research in English education. Design/methodology/approach: This manuscript uses practices of narrative inquiry to tell and interpret stories about the authors' work. Findings: The authors hope to critique traditional notions of white resistance in favor of more careful theorizations of whiteness that can be helpful for teachers and scholars in English education and English Language Arts (ELA)with an interest in facilitation antiracist pedagogy. Originality/value: Ultimately, with this work, the authors hope to provoke readers to consider how work with whiteness is processed by white people, especially in terms of teaching and learning in English education and ELA. They believe the field of English education should begin to discuss this issue.