In the dynamic landscape of the neoliberal university, conversations between emerging scholars serve as vital spaces for critical reflection and transformative action. This collaborative autoethnographic study engaged with the complexities of navigating academia as two black clinical psychologists within a South African university. Drawing on decoloniality, we interrogated the pervasive 'carrying on' culture and its impact on early-career academics. Our lived experiences underscored the intersections of identity, power and resistance, as we grappled with the commodification of higher education and the pressures to ascend the ranks hastily. Through a reflexive thematic analysis of our recorded discussions, we uncovered mechanisms for disrupting normative structures and redefining the purpose of scholarly pursuits. Central to our inquiry was the notion of refusal as a generative force, challenging the status quo and advocating for a more conducive, supportive environment where teaching and learning activities are genuine expressions of growth. We envisioned a university that fosters meaningful intellectual engagement and societal transformation, calling for collective dialogue and action to reimagine the neoliberal higher education landscape.