Ibram X. Kendi has said, "Indeed, the heartbeat of being antiracist is confession. The heartbeat of being racist is denial." What solidarity gestures and diversity may deny, equity confesses. This creative approach to nonfiction account of misgynoiracist experiences within RhetComp calls for truth and reconciliation as necessary conditions if there is to be any possibility of equity within the academy. This piece journeys--through a humorous, absurdist--through a humorous, absurdist approach--Black women's experiences in the discipline from receiving essay feedback during a student's undergraduate years as a rhetoric major to quasi-HR's denial of permission to an instructor seeking to use the word "profiled" to describe a problematic workplace interaction. The pretext of civility and professionalism that serves to surveil and discipline BIPOC scholars in the academy generally is just as common in the field of RhetComp. This text explores inequitable dynamics within the context of individual and institutional branding that seem to prioritize merely the optics of diversity.