Formerly heterosexually partnered gay fathers raised with religion are an under-researched group of LGBTQ parents. This group have potentially complex coming out journeys, which can result in them seeking counselling. This research qualitatively explores the counselling experiences of 12 such men and offers suggestions for working therapeutically with them. The key finding of the qualitative analysis of the participants' interviews was that they wanted therapists to not assume a "best" outcome for them as either gay or "straight". Instead, they wanted therapists to respect and assist them to explore their own individual sense-making around their identities and to reject fixed notions from both ex-gay and gay affirmative therapy of what it means to be a "well-adjusted" gay father.