In this article, we investigate the Visual Arts Educative Teacher Performance Assessment (edTPA) while integrating aspects of philosopher Jean-François Lyotard's thought in order to bring to light implicit assumptions made by the test. We expose disconnections between a mission for art education to create teachers as inquirers and the type of teacher education sought and assessed by the edTPA. We concentrate on examining three areas of the test that create implicit directives for artist-educators to accomplish as they learn to become state-certified teachers; and we suggest ways to hack--or successfully perform the tasks--while simultaneously understanding the structural bias of the exam. Finally, we suggest, following Elliot Eisner, that visual arts education as a discourse must assert its commitment to assessment without measurement and move beyond performance assessments as major criteria for teacher education.