The potential for humans to influence Earth's climate was theorized by scientists like Svante Arrhenius as early as 1896. Yet, as late as 2020, political leaders, like the former President Donald Trump, and the people who follow them continue to doubt the possibility. With growing scientific evidence that human activities are degrading our planet's ecosystem carrying capacity and creating a 6th mass extinction event (Naggs, 2017), the need to address climate change as a national security issue has become urgent. Our obligation to prepare the next generation for man-made climate change threats is recognized by teachers, students and parents alike. But while more than 80% of American teachers and parents believe that climate change should be taught in school, fewer than 60% of the teachers feel it falls within their classroom subject area (NPR, 2019). And without the additional personnel, funds and resources political recognition would bring, humanity's accelerating climate crisis remains largely untaught. In 2016, I began creating Pacific ALLIES, an experiential service learning curriculum designed to teach students, cadets and midshipmen the climate change impacts on national security by transforming Kwajalein Atoll into a living sustainability laboratory. "Failing to Survive" constitutes my reflections on the research question: From an autoethnographic perspective, what were the critical turning points in my life that led me to develop Pacific ALLIES as a means of existential education with potential to prepare next generation leaders for the climate change challenges they will face in the 21st Century? My use of qualitative evocative autoethnography allowed the intentional self-reflection of past learning to provide a personal perspective on a shared cultural experience (Ellis, 2004) while personal conflicts and perceptual turning points in my life were used to examine and critique issues of larger social consequence (Jones et al., 2016). Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (1943) provided my perceptual theoretical framework while Marcia's (1980) framework for identity in adolescents provided a chronological roadmap to identify the metamorphic "phase changes" in my personal identity. My research found that my decision to create Pacific ALLIES was the result of four distinct identity transformations driven by internal struggles created by gaps between the norms I had been taught in school and the realities I was living as a Marine infantry and intelligence officer, international student in China and Iran, and disaster coordination officer for USAID's Office of Foreign Disaster Assistance. More than a positivist offering of exemplary scholarship, "Failing to Survive" is an academic attempt to make an honest accounting of my life. In revisiting how many times I've failed my expectations of myself, I offer this study as a cautionary tale. My only hope is that as the reader identifies the many shortcomings in my research and life decisions, they will be reinvigorated to teach in a way that prepares the next generation for the climate change challenges we leave unsolved. [The dissertation citations contained here are published with the permission of ProQuest LLC. Further reproduction is prohibited without permission. Copies of dissertations may be obtained by Telephone (800) 1-800-521-0600. Web page: http://www.proquest.com.bibliotheek.ehb.be/en-US/products/dissertations/individuals.shtml.]