Parents encourage their children to follow paths they themselves find vicariously satisfying, perpetuating a family cycle of deferred dreams. What parents must do to free their children from the cycle of hand-me-down dreams is first to free themselves. To do so, they have to examine how happy they are with their own career decisions. Understanding the linkage between example and influence is critical to breaking the cycle of hand-me-down dreams. It points parents toward self-awareness as the single most important factor in their children's freedom. This paper describes why parents have trouble seeing their influence clearly. The telltale signs of hand-me-down dreams run amok are listed. "Dual vision," which links the past with the future, is defined and counselors are urged to encourage parents to develop this. (MKA)