This paper reports findings from a series of focus groups with seven parents, six middle school girls, and four elementary school teachers in a high poverty urban neighborhood. The study began with the purpose of identifying the characteristics of exemplary teachers in low-income urban schools. As the research continued, it became apparent that the answer was straightforward--exemplary urban teachers are those who construct respectful and trusting relationships with students and their families. The paper illustrates the value of triangulating data collection to understand issues of teaching and learning in urban schools better. Being positive with children was the theme that dominated parent discussion, and parents appealed for good communication with their children's teachers. Teachers agreed about the importance of parental involvement in children's education, and they knew that they were unsuccessful in this aspect of their teaching. Students spoke about basic issues of respect and comfort. Triangulating these data helped researchers build a description of the qualities of effective urban teachers. It was clear that a barrier existed between parents and teachers in this study. Caught in the middle of parent-teacher conflict, the students appreciated teachers who expressed interest in their lives. (Contains 29 references.) (SLD)