Gender inevitably influences intimacy. This paper examines how gender differences can inhibit intimate relationships. In the analysis of two cases, it was observed that the researcher unconsciously had a tendency to defer to male perspectives regarding intimacy, and suggests that many female clients may do the same. Researchers have speculated that women and men express themselves and respond differently: women strive toward relationship and mutuality, whereas men seek autonomy and authority. The key issue revolves around "voice." Frequently, society misrepresents a woman's voice--a metaphor to represent self-definition--deeming it ill-formed in some way. Women who desire increased mutuality and a deeper emotional connection with their partner should be encouraged and not be treated as aberrant. In the above cases, the men's incapacity or unwillingness to provide a context for the women's continued growth created difficulties. The men strove for independence, making the women seem cloying or needy. The women seemed unclear about what they wanted--their relational "selves" had been invalidated by a culture which emphasizes independence over relationship. It was found that even an effective therapist for these women can become caught up in the hopelessness of these women's implicit requests for greater mutuality and intimacy. (Contains 39 references.) (RJM)