An eduator's self-analysis of changing beliefs about classroom relationships over the last 20 years are presented in this paper, with attention given to the philosophical and political issues of caring and controlling. Three phases of experience--student teaching, graduate school, and university teaching--are highlighted. The educator's approaches to teacher-student interaction moved from caring for students to leadership and student management to development of a social compact. A conclusion is that classroom authority does not involve management and control but is rather a social compact underwritten by the actions of caring and controlling. The social compact attempts to balance ongoing negotiation with legitimate authority, and can result in enhanced classroom solidarity and greater student responsibility. Teachers should seek ways of caring for students while understanding power and control. (Contains 19 references.) (LMI)