This document addresses the dilemma faced by families with an aging or disabled member and the stress associated with the role of family caregiver. Emotions experienced by family caregivers, especially when the caregiver is an adult child caring for an elderly or frail parent, are discussed and feelings of desertion, dependence, and sibling rivalry are considered. The trauma of placing a relative in a nursing home is discussed and the difficulties involved in properly timing the adult child's responsibility to make decisions for a parent, and in making wise decisions, are examined. Possible guidelines are offered to help caregivers cope with the stresses associated with the caregiver role. Suggestions are given for where families can turn for help or advice in handling their role as caregiver. (NB)