The author examines issues related to adult assertiveness in controlling and setting limits for handicapped children. Reasons for adults not wishing to be in charge include feelings of guilt, lack of consistency in enforcing rules, and a sense of sympathy for special children. Assertiveness is distinguished from aggressiveness, and suggestions for assertive speaking such as making direct straightforward statements are given. The art of making assertive compromises is discussed, as is applying penalities. A chart categorizing nonverbal behaviors as nonassertive, aggressive, and assertive is included. (CL)