In this article, we use the zombies as a metaphor for reforms in the Polish academy and a description of how neoliberalism works. According to the interpretation of the production of zombies as a critique of late capitalism, we want to show, by using an autoethnographic method, how subjectivity, relationships with others and the world are changing in the neoliberal regime. How do reforms attempt to transform subjectivity, and raise a new academic? Our co-autoethnography challenges the University of the (Un)Dead. We write together to show the experience of an insider (Oskar) and a quasi-outsider (former PhD student, Dominika). We are trying to show how nationalist authoritarianism emerges, at the same time, as part of the neoliberal regime. Our story is a record from the time of the apocalypse -- an attempt to provoke. Let us trust the stories.