This essay updates Dell Hymes's "Report from an Underdeveloped Country" (the USA), positioning our analysis in the New Language Policy Studies. Taking up Hymes's call for comparative, critical studies of language use, we examine three cases, organizing our analysis around Hymes's questions: What "counts" as a language, a language problem, and "proper" language use? We conclude with a final question suggested by Hymes's Report: How can a critical-ethnographic approach to language policy transform persistent linguistic inequalities?